With an average of 300 emoji reportedly tweeted each second, it’s time to give into our graphical language overlords; our long-standing means of written communication has officially reverted back to the days of hieroglyphics and cave drawings. We succumb! So forgive Kristen and me for getting a little punchy over text the other night and having some fun with emoji messages that adults (and parents) in particular can relate to.

Use them as inspiration for creating your own, or feel free to borrow ours–you can text them out to your loved one for a little Valentine’s Day digital foreplay.

That’s totally a thing, by the way.

Remember: Yes, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But when it comes to emoji, an eggplant is never just an eggplant.

Related: 16 seriously funny Valentine’s Cards

And…welcome to our juvenile side. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, however you’re celebrating.